The pressure to enroll your children in activities begins as soon as they can walk – if not before. Young parents are told these activities are crucial if they want their children to be “socialized” and “ready for school”. During the elementary years, the peer pressure intensifies. It seems every child from a “good” family is participating in at least one sport throughout the year and enrolled in other activities like Scouts, music and dance. The peak is the teen years when parents and teens are painted a picture of the bleak future awaiting the teen who does not participate in enough activities.
Of course, most parents go along with the crowd. After all, who doesn’t want a child who is socialized, ready for school, fitting in with the crowd and has a bright future as an adult? The result is that many children are in some scheduled activity (in addition to school) six to seven days a week. But are all of these activities as good for your kids as you have been led to believe? The answer is….. probably not.
While an occasional activity is good for children and teens, being involved every day of the week has been found to have more negative than positive effects. Here are some things to consider as you reflect on your children’s activities.
- Studies have found that sports with an emphasis on winning lead to increased bullying and high risk behaviors. At times this is even encouraged by coaches who themselves use bullying as a coaching technique, encourage players to razz each other, or look the other way when hazing, enhancement drugs and other unhealthy activities occur. Another study found that an overemphasis on winning encouraged negative character traits like lying, cheating, winning at all costs attitudes and more.
- Studies have also found that over scheduling leads to heightened stress and anxiety. There are only so many hours after school. When homework pressures or exams are present, it is natural stress and anxiety levels rise as well. Gone are the days when activities were just for fun. It seems most activities sell the idea that the child will become a professional or at least get a college scholarship from their constant participation. The pressure to perform can be overwhelming.
- Researchers have found that young people need down time each day for rest and sleep in order to develop non-cognitive essential skills. Without the free time needed for this process, this development is impeded.
- Overstimulation near bedtime can impede sleep for many children and teens. Often activities end just in time for a shower and bed. Winding down enough to go to sleep can be difficult for many children. Not to mention that often these late activities keep kids and teens from getting the eight to ten hours of sleep they need each night (at a minimum).
- Between school and activities, parents have virtually no time for teaching their kids the things God wants them to know and molding their character. If you are depending on Church, sports and other activities to do everything God has tasked you to do spiritually for your children, you are doomed to fail. One researcher found parents of children who grew up to be strong, productive Christians as adults made sure their kids engaged with God and spiritual content at least eleven hours a week. Even children enrolled in Christian schools still need lots of personal engagement with scripture and parents who are constantly teaching them, helping them understand what God wants them to know and working to make sure their hearts, thoughts, words and actions align with what God wants for them. When you only have a few minutes with an exhausted kid a day, it just isn’t happening the way it needs to for developing an unshakable faith foundation.
There are multiple reasons we are losing young people and I strongly believe many of the ones given aren’t actually a factor. I think one of the primary contributors to losing young people is that we have unknowingly made extracurricular activities an idol. All of our time and money goes to helping our kids succeed in those things rather than being who God wants them to be. I encourage you to really reflect on your kids’ activities. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your kids is to keep them home more often.
