One of the hardest things for young people to accept about Christianity is the idea of loving (and forgiving) one’s enemies. After all, shouldn’t we be able to destroy them for fairness to be maintained?
A Bible lesson on the topic can help them understand the theology behind it. Looking at the life of Jesus can teach them how he lived it out during his time on Earth. Teaching them how to measure whether or not they are truly loving their enemies (and forgiving them) can be a little more difficult.
There is a secular tool that can be modified a bit to help frame the conversation in ways they can apply in their lives. A group called UNITY developed what they call a dignity scale a few years ago. It measures eight attitudes to help people determine whether or not they are treating those around them with dignity. While words can be twisted to mean things God would not want them to mean, I believe the terms they used can be defined by God’s definitions and scripture to give young people a helpful way to assess whether or not they are actually loving their enemies.
Here are the eight attitudes and how I might define them using a biblical worldview.
- Dignity. Are they treating everyone the way God would actually treat them (not the way they want to think God would treat them)? Are they being loving, kind, patient, gentle, etc. with everyone they meet?
- Connectedness. Are they trying to find things they have in common with others so they are passionate about serving them and sharing their faith with them? Or do they feel so disconnected with some people that they seem to be no more than an inanimate object worthy of disdain and not service and learning about God? They don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but they should attempt to find some point of connection.
- Curiosity. Are they curious about the lives of others? Do they use that curiosity to find ways to serve them or present the parts of the Gospel message to them first that will have the most meaning to them? Or do they make assumptions, perhaps based on stereotypes or gossip?
- Respect. Do they treat everyone kindly – using their best manners – even with their enemies? They don’t have to agree with or condone what others are doing to show them respect as someone created by God. In fact, loving them and respecting them may mean sharing some hard truths with them in love so they have an opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven.
- Dismissiveness. Do they refuse to even listen to others? Do they deny others the right to join a conversation or sit with them? Do they make sweeping negative generalizations about others? Do they ignore the value of that person’s soul to God?
- Disdain. Do they openly look down on others as being stupid, vile, ugly or a host of another negative adjectives? Do they secretly think they are better than someone else? Do they think some people don’t deserve to learn about God or assume they won’t obey Him if taught?
- Disgust. Are they disgusted because someone is dirty, smelly, has on the wrong clothes, lives in the wrong neighborhood or makes choices that are different than theirs? Rejecting sin is one thing. Rejecting unreached people because they are disgusting often means we aren’t serving them or teaching them about God.
- Contempt. Do they want to destroy someone for some reason? This can look like revenge or even actively hoping they disappear. They consider these people to not be worthy of evening knowing who Jesus is, much less being served or taught about him. In the extreme, they may even think this person deserves to go to Hell with no chance of repentance or redemption.
Do your students have other ways they asses whether or not they are truly obeying God’s command to love their enemies? The beauty of this scale is that it can be used to expand the conversation beyond just enemies. Are they seeing anyone as “less than” or unworthy of their love and God’s. Giving them some more concrete tools can help them begin to make better choices.