When you look for employees and volunteers for your ministry, for what skills are you looking? If listening skills aren’t currently on your list, they need to be. In fact, your ministry would greatly benefit from spending time training everyone connected to it to be better listeners. Why?
Studies are finding time and time again that today’s children and teens don’t feel as if they have anyone in their lives that will truly listen to them. It’s easy to assume that the children and teens served by your ministry are from “great” homes and have plenty of people in their lives who listen. Some may, but the numbers would indicate that the vast majority of the young people you serve don’t feel heard and understood.
Over the years, I have heard many adults question why children and teens are “so emotional” when they communicate. It’s easy to dismiss the high emotions as a result of hormones or stress. The reality is that emotional communication often has at its roots the frustration of not feeling heard and understood. Children and teens are very aware of the “fake” listening adults often do when young people talk. They know there is a huge difference between a distracted “mmm” and an active listener asking questions, offering empathy and genuinely trying to understand what the young person is trying to communicate. (Bonus Tip: This is also true of upset parents, volunteers and church leaders.)
All too often, adults assume they know where the conversation is headed and are anxious for the child or teen to stop talking so they can dole out the formulaic advice obviously required. The problem is that by not listening actively, you may have missed key points that would change the advice that needs to be given. Even more importantly, most people will not listen to advice – much less follow it – if they don’t believe they have really been heard and understood. Can you blame them?
The children and teens served by your ministry need people to really listen to them. Only then can you help each individual get what he or she needs to reach his or her full godly potential. It’s in listening well that your ministry can minister to its full potential. It’s worth taking the time and effort to make sure everyone connected to your ministry is a great listener!