One of the most common mistakes I see in ministry – especially to children and teens – is when an adult brings their past spiritual baggage into a lesson or conversation with a young person. Please understand. I am not trying to minimize what happened to you in any way. What I am saying is that too many adults are projecting their personal spiritual baggage onto young people who have never and hopefully will never experience what happened to you. They pick up your negative attitudes toward the church, Christians and God – even if that is not your intent. I firmly believe too many young people are using the negative things that happened to others as their own excuse for rejecting Christianity and God.
Do young people have an obligation to make godly choices regardless? Absolutely! But most do not have the spiritual or emotional maturity to recognize your spiritual baggage for what it truly is – your personal experience based on the people with whom you personally interacted – people they may never encounter at all.
There are several messages all children and teens need to hear from adult Christians – regardless of their own experiences.
- God is perfect.
- Jesus is perfect.
- God’s plan for the Church is perfect.
- God calls Christians to live a sinless life, but His grace covers those who repent of their sins.
- People who attend church may or may not be Christians and even the Christians who attend will sin.
- Any bad things that happen to an individual at the hands of a Christian or in a church setting are not a reflection on God, Christianity or the Church, but rather Satan and sin. (The terms “the church” or “Christians” should never be the subjects of sentences dealing with past spiritual trauma. “Joe” did that to you, not the church, Christianity or God. You don’t have to call “Joe” by name, but even if there were multiple people involved, they still do not represent all Christians or the church as a whole – only themselves.)
- If something bad happens, say something and get professional help. Don’t undermine the growing faith of another person by telling your story in such a way that it reflects badly on God, Christianity or the Church.
Is there ever a time to share your spiritual negative experiences with a child or teen? Only if it will truly make the young person stronger spiritually. This is not a litmus test that can be taken lightly. Pray and think through every possible reaction they may have to what you are about to share. Will it truly be helpful? Will it help faith grow stronger or weaken? Is it taking the Lord’s name in vain by making God, Christians or the Church seem uncaring, cruel or evil? The Bible tells us we will be held accountable for our words – especially if it impacts the faith of children in a negative fashion. So the next time you want to share a personal antidote from your spiritual past….. think carefully. There may be a much more productive way to make your point.