One of the constant tensions in ministry are the seemingly natural generational differences. If we are truly honest, every generation is skeptical and often critical of those in generations both younger and older than them. While one would hope that the church would be somewhat immune to such judgmental attitudes, the generational divide often appears as soon as differing opinions do. It is unfortunate, because I believe God wants us to gain from the generations having close relationships that provide various important benefits from being together.
Now mind you, differences aren’t always generational, but having different tastes in clothes and music and a different vocabulary can sometimes entangle with theological debates. Often those younger believe people older than them – sometimes even by a few years – are out of touch or old fashioned. Meanwhile those looking at younger generations often describe them as disrespectful or ungrateful. While these tensions may be natural, they can serve to make conflict within a congregation even more pronounced as others feel unfairly judged for something they can’t control.
The problem is often worsened because we don’t know our fellow Christians like we might have decades ago. Often the only time we see each other is at the building on Sunday mornings. With so much happening, we are lucky if we can say a few pleasantries before we are called upon to do something else. So when differences arise, it’s easy to assume the worst of others.
Story telling can help improve this dynamic. I will never forget the time we scheduled a story telling time between the elders and their wives and some elementary Bible students. The stories were more answers to questions designed to help the students know the elders and their wives as real people. One of the questions was “What is something people would be surprised to learn about you?”
While every answer was interesting and revealed something about the person, one stood out. An elder’s wife, who could be best described as extremely prim and proper answered the question, “I was a drummer in a band.”. Children and adults alike gaped in amazement. Evidently, no one knew this about her. While she was kind, never in a million years would you have thought she would be the fun loving drummer of a band! Her story gave her things in common with kids who liked music, drums or bands. She was now approachable as a real person with a full and interesting life. As odd as it sounds, some of them might have even respected her more because she has some “cool” real world experience.
Every person’s stories are different, but we all have them. By telling these stories, we find things in common that span generations. The stories can be fun or silly. They can be poignant or spiritual. The mere act of giving others a peek inside our world that they never see makes them feel a bit closer to us.
Could stories ever backfire? Possibly, but in all of my years of listening to people tell their stories the only ones that can be problematic are if someone is bragging about their ungodly behavior like being cruel to someone or hurting others. Even those can serve a purpose of the person is truly repentant and has obviously worked hard to change and shares that. (It’s the pride in past sins that create issues.) Having said that, I can only think of a handful of times in years when someone shared that type of story. Often that can be mitigated by carefully choosing your story tellers and knowing what types of stories they want to tell before letting them talk with children and teens.
Don’t forget, stories aren’t just for Bible class. They can be fun during fellowship times, on trips and at camp. Anytime when there is a lull in the action, it can be fun to have someone share a story from their life. Who knows? Your students may want to share their stories with the older generation as well. That teen who the older adults think is “bad news” might reveal through his story telling some past trauma or current service to others, that will change the older generation’s view of him.
If the people in your congregation aren’t natural story tellers, try using conversation starter questions. You can put them on tables for fellowships are use them in getting acquainted activities. Or come up with your own questions designed to encourage story telling. The key to developing intergenerational empathy is encouraging them to get to know each other better and finding those points of connection. Story telling is a great way to accomplish that.