Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to help someone, but didn’t have the skills to do it? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? Very few of us have the training to help in every situation, but many of us could be much better prepared to help others when the occasion arises. You can help your children be more prepared by helping them develop some basic skills that are often used when trying to help others through a difficult time.
Here’s a list of some of our favorites to begin teaching children and teens.
- Active listening. Sometimes a person who is struggling just needs someone to listen. They need to feel heard, seen and understood. Teaching your kids how to listen empathetically, while also paying attention to details shared that may point out other ways to help is a skill that must be practiced. Talk about paying attention, looking people in the eyes, nodding to show they are paying attention, avoiding looking at devices, asking follow up questions and reframing what was said to make sure they are understanding properly. They may not always agree with the person’s perspective on the issue, but they can be a caring, listening ear.
- Asking for help from you or other safe adults. I have witnessed so many issues where a child or teen told a peer about a serious problem with which they needed adult help and the peer didn’t get them that help. The struggling young person continued to suffer for long periods of time until an adult finally found out what had happened and intervened. Teach your kids if something sounds serious to them, to share it with you. You will keep their confidence, but will help them figure out how to help their friend. If it is a situation when your child needs to confide in another adult, help them practice the conversation with you to give them more confidence.
- Observing potential needs. It’s amazing how someone can be crying in a crowd of people and no one will ask them if they are okay or need help. Teaching your kids how to notice when people’s expressions or body language appear to indicate something is wrong. Help them practice ways of asking if the person needs help. Teach them to be especially aware of giving people attention who they know are struggling or who don’t have many friends to confide in about any problems they may be having.
- Learning practical skills. As soon as your kids are old enough, encourage them to learn basic first aid and other skills that can be useful in helping others. Don’t forget things like cooking or yard work that people may need help with during a tough time.
- Finding resources. Sometimes the person who is struggling needs expert assistance. Teaching your children how to find referrals for quality resources to pass on to those who need them is an important skill set. You may even want to build a database your family uses to store information about resources and organizations you know who are doing a great job of helping people dealing with specific issues.
- Praying for others. The value of prayer is often minimized on social media, but as Christians we know it is sometimes the most powerful thing we can do to help someone. Encourage your kids to keep a prayer journal or use some other method to make sure they are praying for the needs of others.
Raising children with a servant heart is wonderful, but it’s even better if they actually serve others. Helping them develop and use these skill sets when they are young, will make it easier for them to help anyone in need.
