This week I was asking someone with years of experience in urban ministry what are some of the biggest mistakes people make in her area of expertise and ministry in general. Her answer was interesting and I think deserves some reflection. What was it? People in ministry need to view themselves as collaborators and not experts – even if they are.
Let’s sit with that for a minute. Master teachers and leaders in ministry spend a lot of time and energy developing expertise in often a variety of topics. It has taken untold hours and a lot of money. You may not be the top expert in your field, but you have more expertise than most of the people you will encounter in your ministry. So why can’t you be the expert?
If someone specifically asks you to be an expert, then go for it. Be humble, because none of us is perfect, but share what you have learned. Teach, educate, inform and inspire to your heart’s content. If you think about it though, very few individuals come up to us and literally ask us to be the expert. Even fewer people like to be told what to do (especially in the U.S. where rebellion is seen as a virtue). And I can’t think of anyone who likes it when an arrogant person starts criticizing everything they say or do and tells them how they should be doing it – without having been asked for their opinion.
I get it. You have to walk the same fine line I have to walk. You need to educate and inform and sometimes people get defensive – even when it’s not personal, but a general observation you are sharing. They can project negative characteristics on to you that don’t reflect your intentions, motivation or character.
While you can’t stop your role as an educator, for the people to whom you minister, you can project an attitude of wanting to collaborate with them. Make it clear you think they have things to teach you. Ask questions. Ask how you can help them parent or fulfill their volunteer role. Don’t talk down to them or confront them with lists of all of their mistakes. View yourself as working with them towards their goals and yours – not as the person who is going to drag them there kicking and screaming.
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to visualize Jesus washing the feet of the Apostles and then visualize yourself washing the feet of the people you encounter in your ministry. Have a truly servant heart. Remember, you might not have the entire story. Focus on being a helper and not a dictator. Radiate God’s love and yours. When you can become their collaborator, you may just find their goals (and yours) are reached much more quickly and easily.